Fighting Spirit

“This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me” – Fight Song (Rachel Platten)

Recently I have been having the job of motivating a lot of my friends that feel like they have lost their sense of drive. So I thought I should post something motivating here and hope that anyone reading this will feel motivated.

No matter if you’re having a major breakdown because you cannot find your goal in life or you have no more motivation to pursue a specific goal that seems so out of reach I would like to encourage you to fight on.

If you believe in something – do it. If it makes you happy – do it. Never give up on dreams just because it sounds too hard. Nothing comes easy but with hard work you can achieve anything.

For those of you who are struggling to find your goal and purpose in life, I would encourage you to take a step-back and analyse what makes you happy in life. What is it that makes you smile? It doesn’t have to be a specific occupation. Is it to interact with people? Is it designing something? Is it the research?

Find out why you like something. Is it because the thought of being able to interact with people gives you the satisfaction that you are directly helping them? Is the adrenaline in the pursuit of the chase in an investigation the thing that gets you pumped? – Answer the what and why.

Once you have found that, find the jobs/ course/ that it is applicable in. It can be as big or as small as you want it to be. No one is limiting you to anything as long as you believe in it. Really believe that you want it.

After that, set a plan on how to achieve it. What courses/ classes do you have to take in order to achieve it? Do you have to learn a new language? Who are the people you need to talk to to get a better idea? Do you need to make more connections? Do you need more internships? With which company? When do you need to apply by?

(Just a note that maybe consulting with a friend/ family that you believe knows you well is a good idea. They will be able to give you a perspective that you might not have realised before on you :))

All these what, when, who, where and when (don’t forget a timeline) will help you to define a new path (or at least redefined) plan for you. Hopefully through this you will feel that you have a new sense of purpose and will be able to make a big impact to the people around you, your community, or even the world.

Remember that no matter how big or small the impact is, you are making a difference. You don’t need to be the president to change someone’s lives significantly. As long as you are doing what you are doing with passion and love, you’ll change the people around you. ๐Ÿ™‚

For those of you who are losing the motivation to pursue your dreams, your dreams are yours alone and no one else can chase it for you.ย I might seem over optimistic here but believe me that the biggest obstacle is yourself. There will always be a way to get to what you want.

First of all- make sure that your dreams are concrete (trust me when i say the motivation to get straight As purely for the grades is hardly a motivation in comparison to the will for you for example to get into medical school to be able to treat the patients that are dying from cancer because you have had a family member that went through the same thing, or something like that). Concrete dreams that is full of purpose is the main driving force.

Secondly, since probably at this stage you’re burnt out, take a small break. We all need it. Don’t deny yourself the need to rest. Get a few hours out in the sun going for a jog, or explore a new part of town. When you’re burnt out, if you don’t re-energise, it will not increase your productivity. Doing something else that rejuvenates you might give you just the time you need to recuperate and get back into the mood.

Lastly, pace yourself for the next round. Dreams are never that simple most of the time. If it was it would not be a dream would it? because it’s the thing you aspire to achieve – so it’s a marathon. Perseverance is fundamental. Take things one step at a time. Another helpful thing would be to talk to friends or family or whoever your support group is. Having a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear is always helpful when you feel like giving up but is in need of someone to motivate you to go on. Small steps lead to a great journey so make sure you take the small steps and you will look back and finally realise how far you have gone.

It might take a lot of effort with a lot of sleepless nights, literal blood, sweat and tears sometimes and a lot of disappointments but I believe that you can do it! ๐Ÿ™‚

I especially quoted the song “Fight Song” because I hope that after reading this and maybe some thinking you have the Fighting Spirit within you to continue pursuing what you believe in. Find that passion of yours so that you can fight for it and prove that even if no one believe you can do it, you have the fighting spirit to prove them wrong.

As always, follow your heart, find your passion.

 

Maintaining Long Distance Friendships

“Though miles may lie between us, we are never far apart. For friendship doesn’t count miles, it’s measured by the heart”

I think those of you that read this would know that I have moved around quite a bit in my life. With this, comes the amazing opportunities to make so many new friends from all over the world. It’s a huge blessing and I am eternally grateful for it. However, there is one downside to it – I would never have that particular friend who I have been friends with since kindergarten.

Over the years, I have finally come to realise that friendship (and relationships too but that will probably be for another day) takes a great deal of effort to be maintained – especially if you are no longer in the same country. For those of you who feel frustrated that they have distanced from their old friends, here are some tips that I hope helps you (cos it has helped me so far :))

1. Make the effort to contact them

This may seem very obvious (at least for the first 6 months when you’re apart but becomes less so the longer it is) but you do have to make that extra effort to contact them. Not having their number is no excuse nowadays ๐Ÿ˜‰ (don’t forget facebook messenger/ email/ etc). Find whatever way you can and contact your old friends.

2. Reply with all your heart

It might seem tempting to not reply after a while because you are busy and the conversation might not be so interesting but do reply. Of course you will be busy with other things (especially when you live in different timezones. But you can always reply later on (a few hours later, or even days later) when you actually have the time to reply all your friend’s messages. This really shows that you are making the effort. Half-hearted messages are the worstย because it shows that you are in fact feeling bothered by the messages and your friend might be hesitant in replying again after that.

3. Maintain regular contact

There are friends that you can only talk to for a few hours while there are those who you can have a conversation for years non-stop (I’m not even joking it has happened). So whatever the conversation length is, make sure you keep in regular contact with them. Check-up on them when you feel it’s appropriate (e.g every week/ every month). This shows how much you do still think of them.

4. Remember important dates/ events

This is another thing that helps to maintain the friendship. Of course it’s a given to remember your friend’s birthday – so I’m not talking about that. But do try to remember important events happening in their lives – exams/ presentations/ job interviews/ when they are going on holiday/ etc. This is not only a reason for you to talk to them (hey sometimes even the closest friends run out of topic right? :p) but also it shows that you remember about them even though you are halfway across the world (and trust me it matters :)). Another extra step you can take is to maybe send them a card/ note/ present (depending on the situation) for this specific event especially if you know that your friend will really need that extra support from you ๐Ÿ™‚

4.1 (?) Mini tip (especially for those that have friends that are in different timezones)

search the timezones on google or put the specific timezones your friends are in in your phone so you don’t forget the time difference. It comes in handy when you want to wish your friends a happy birthday/ good luck at a specific time. Hopefully then you won’t end up missing the event completely which has happened more often that I’d like to admit for me and my friends unfortunately :/.

5. Plan something

If you have plans to visit your friends in the various countries/ at home this is one thing I have always found helpful. Through this you get to finally meet your friends again and catch-up with them. Often I feel that this will make your friends feel remembered even amongst the new friends that you have made.

 

I focused more on Long Distance Friendships here because I know how valuable friendship is especially when you are someone who moves around so much and don’t get the security of having that 1 friend that is always there (because hey you are not even in the same country). I will write on Long Distance Relationships sometime later. The most important thing I think to remember is that Long Distance Friendships (like all relationships) takes both sides to make the effort. If you are the only one making the effort it’s not going to work out. So don’t forget to make sure you and your friend is on the same page :).

Oh if it doesn’t work out the first time round, try again (if you believe the friendship is worth it). There is never a point where it is too late as long as you’re willing to take that extra step. I just recently reconnected with a friend that I lost contact with for 4 years and another that I lost contact with for 9 years :). So hopefully these tips will be useful to you. And if you have any of your own tips please let me know too ๐Ÿ™‚ I would love to get some inputs.

Friends are treasures – don’t forget that ๐Ÿ™‚

Follow your heart. Find your passion.